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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614168">Captain's Log</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterimoron/pseuds/mysterimoron'>mysterimoron</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Mirrors Reflection [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Mirror Universe, Mirror Universe (Star Trek), Video, no other characters are actually present</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:27:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterimoron/pseuds/mysterimoron</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain James T. Kirk of the ISS Enterprise was lost in a world not his own, watching people so like his own yet so different. Everything was softer than what he was used to, much less violent and it made him feel uneasy to be left in a world he found himself unable to fit into. With barely concealed fear and anxiety, he voices these differences in the only way he knows how. </p><p>"Captain's log...sort of...technically." Kirk waved a hand dismissively, nose scrunching up slightly as he ignored the technicalities of not exactly being the Captain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Mirrors Reflection [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002522</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Captain's Log</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written with the AOS crew in mind and based off the "Mirror, Mirror" episode of the original series. This started as a bored drabble for a mirror rp that I did with my partner and then after writing it I realized I couldn't resist sharing it. So here you go. Enjoy this drabble of my version of Mirror Jim. Perhaps in the future I will write more because I do love writing Mirror Jim.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Captain's log...sort of...technically." Kirk waved a hand dismissively, nose scrunching up slightly as he ignored the technicalities of not exactly being the Captain. He was the Captain, just not the Captain of this ship exactly so it still counted for something at least. "Stardate.." He trailed off again looking off to the side for a moment in thought. He brought a hand up to his face, rubbing it down his face in slow exhaustion. What was the stardate? He couldn't even be sure what it was after the unfortunate circumstances that lead to him being here. "I assume it's the same day. I haven't bothered to check..whatever it's not important." He looked back at the camera again, momentarily startled by how unfamiliar everything in the camera seemed. </p><p>His reflection from the camera stared back at him in the way it always did yet it felt so different. His eyes were as blue as he remembered, stark and almost unnatural. His blonde hair was tousled and a mess he never bothered combing, his skin lightly scarred in places but almost unnoticeable if you didn't look for it. His face was familiar, the same that it always was, but everything surrounding what little was familiar was so foreign. The uniform that was completely different from his own, far less revealing and so much more conservative than what he was used to was disorienting to say the least. If he was honest he may as well not be wearing sleeves considering how tightly they fit to his arms, showing off the well built muscle he knew was there, but he figured that sleeves kept some form of modesty. These people seemed to be all about keeping modest in everything. The lack of a sash tied around his waist made him feel empty, an uncomfortable feeling around his waist that left him itching to tie something there. </p><p>Behind him everything was different too. The shape of the room was the same, a set up identical to his own and yet everything else was so different. Where his own room was barren, save for the necessities, this Kirk was perfectly okay with decorating. There were shelves behind him lined with traditional paper books, a rare thing nowadays and something Kirk himself didn't have the luxury of collecting, other little trinkets that he had no idea the meaning of. There were even some holo pictures of the other Kirk with some of the crew, all of them pressed close together and smiling wide genuinely bright smiles. It was...strange. Even something so simple as being able to decorate his room was so foreign to Kirk it made him feel even more out of place in this universe. </p><p>Seeming to finally remember himself, though only a few seconds had actually passed, he refocused on the task at hand. "Things are...very different here. Everyone is so much...softer. It's admittedly terrifying. Fear is not an emotion I allow myself to feel often but I can't help but feel it here. It makes me feel so trapped to be in a place so foreign, a place so void of violence. All the faces I see are so familiar and yet the expressions they make are so foreign. I," he cut himself off with a laugh, running a hand through his hair, "I ran into Chekov today and..." He trailed off with another laugh, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair as if he really couldn't believe what he was describing.. "He's so different from my universe. He's so much softer and brighter. He's brilliant and genuine and fuck if it isn't the scariest thing I've ever seen." He leaned forward again, leaning closer to the camera with an incredulous smile as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to scream or laugh. "Back home he's so ready to fight me at the drop of a hat," he raised his hands n exasperation and let them fall to his sides. "I didn't even realize how sinister he is until I met this Chekov. Not having to worry about an assassination attempt from him is both refreshing and horrible all at the same time. I can't help but tense up when he's around. He hasn't noticed, or if he has he has yet to say anything about it. Maybe the kid is just that good at hiding it. I don't even know anymore." He sighed heavily, slumping back in his chair. The more he thought on the differences between this universe and his own the more exhausted he realized he was.</p><p>He knew the exhaustion was plain, could see it in the lines of his face, the droop of his shoulders and the bags under his eyes. It was ironic how in a place where he didn't have to actively fear for his life he feared for it more than he ever did back home where threats on his life were his norm. "The only thing that feels even remotely familiar..." He had been silent for a full minute now, gathering his thoughts as he went over all the differences in his head. "Is, unsurprisingly, Spock." He sat up a little straighter now, giving an almost amused smirk to the camera. "Now don't get me wrong. He's a softie." He knew that the other Kirk would probably think that's absolutely a lie, but compared to his Spock this Spock may as well be a giant teddy bear. "He's got nothing on the Vulcan stoicism of my Spock. This Spock is...he's so much more open. Crazy I know, but you probably see it to if the way he acts around me is anything to go by. His eyes are so soft..." He shook his head and slumped back in his seat again, this time crossing his arms over his chest. </p><p>The Spock of this world was greatly different from his own. Where his Spock was hard edges and deadly precision, this Spock was carefully concealed care and calculation. Sure there were similarities, they were both stoic in their showing of emotions as all Vulcans were, but he could see it in this Spock's eyes, the emotions that lay deep within him. The way his lips just barely quirked at the corners in an obvious show of amusement, the clear sass hidden behind the logical phrases of a Vulcan. The way the tips of his pointed ears would sometimes flush green when Kirk said something in particular to embarrass him. His Spock was loyal, would do anything for him, but this Spock? This Spock cared for the other Kirk in a way he wasn't sure his own Spock did.</p><p>Running a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh, he smiled at the camera again. "He looks at me like he both expects the worst and the best out of me. Like he knows that I'm capable of so much even if it takes a few reckless decisions for me to get there and...god, what I would do to get my Spock to look at me like that. To look at me with something other than an unimpressed Vulcan glare. I know...I know somewhere in him that he cares for me. I wouldn't trust him as my first officer if he didn't have my best interests at heart, or at mind at least." He laughed as if he made some spectacular joke, which to himself he sure did and he was sure that if the other Kirk had anything of his sense of humor he would agree. "But it's different. Seeing the trust and care that this Spock puts in you." He deliberately said the word 'you' knowing the look wasn't meant for him but for the James T. Kirk of this universe. There was a sadness to his eyes as he said it, an acceptance that none of this Spock's words and actions were meant for him. "Seeing it so openly and freely. It's a little scary how much faith this man has in you. And I wish I could say that I've seen that look in my Spock's eyes but..if I'm honest sometimes I wonder if he would just as readily kill me as anyone else in our crew. I know he could. He can easily overpower me if he so chose to take the ship from me. Which...as reassuring as it is that he hasn't..doesn't make me fear any less the possibility that someday maybe he will." </p><p>He looked off screen again, trying to avoid the showing the fear and worry in his eyes. The pain of knowing that no matter how close he and the Spock of his universe were he was still far more alone than this Kirk was. This Kirk who was friends with the alpha crew, who so freely smiled and joked with these people, who didn't constantly have to watch his back in fear that his crew, what this man saw as family, didn't literally stab him in the back. </p><p>He knew there was jealousy in his expression, envy in being able to trust those he worked with. He knew it was evident in his eyes, even looking away he knew that the other Kirk would be able to see it. He knew that the other Kirk probably knew his own expressions well enough to see how much he wished this was his own life and not the destruction and chaos and violence he lived everyday. He knew this Kirk, no this Jim because that's who he was Jim, not just Captain Kirk, would see the look in his eyes and feel compassion and sympathy for him, for a man who didn't deserve it. It didn't matter how much Kirk wished otherwise he was like the rest of them. He fought and killed to survive and move up just like the rest of his crew. He was no different from them. He couldn't live in a world of peace like this one because he was not a man of peace.</p><p>"I don't have to hope you know how lucky you are to have this crew." He said, his voice thick and rough with emotions he refused to let surface fully. He looked at the camera again, staring directly into it as if he could look into the eyes of the man so like him yet so different. "This crew loves you, I can feel it. And I know you can too. So you better not die over there because if you do they're gonna blame me for it." He tried to joke, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Besides, it'd be hard to explain why I'm not dead when I get back." He said with a laugh that rang bright but sounded hollow even to his own ears. "Anyways, good luck with what you've got here. Kirk out." With that the recording cut off, leaving the screen black. </p><p>Jim looked at his own reflection in the black screen, looking at how different he was to a man he shared a face with. His own face which was softer and so much more open than the Captain that lived such a different life from his own. How two people could be nearly identical in every physical way yet live lives so far from the same, have characteristics so different from each other was beyond him. He could only hope that someday that Captain Kirk would find peace in his own life.</p>
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